This year, since I’ve been taking it easy writing, moving into my new house, and reevaluating the next chapter in my professional career, I haven’t had the need to send out any press materials for a while. I recently signed up for an event hosted by Larry Winget (who I will finally get to meet in person!) and Joe Calloway, a business speaker. I want to learn the right way to market myself. I filled out an extensive questionnaire so Larry and Joe can better understand where I am and where I want to go.

They asked me to send a press package and copies of my book.

To my disappointment in myself, it took me an hour to find my new speaking DVD and another fifteen minutes to find the printable files I wanted to send them. I blame no one but myself. The DVD should have been on my desk and I should have had multiple copies of my press kit ready to go. It should have taken me one minute to get everything together instead of an hour and a half.

The lesson here is you should always be ready for something unexpected. What if a colleague called me and said, “I’m going to an event tonight. Can I swing by and pick up your press kits?”

The question is are you ready for something big to happen in your life? If you were to meet one of your potential clients or potential employers, do you have everything that you need? Is it at your fingertips? For example, I have my press kit online. I can go to any Kinkos and print it out. Is your resume updated? If you are an actor, do you have copies of your demo reel in the car?

I understand that we can’t anticipate every situation, but we can anticipate more than we can think.
 

Playing isn’t just for kids.

Everyone plays. We play with our food, we play with the car radio, we play fantasy sports, and so on.

For the last couple of months I have been taking it easy…I’ve been thinking about playing. I love to have a good time. I’m always cracking jokes, I love my gadgets, my house, and just having a good time. However, one of the things my disability affects is the way I play. As a child I couldn’t put together a puzzle, ride a bike, or run in the park. Yet, I had a very happy childhood. My parents took my sister and me on trips. We used to go to Disneyland at least a couple of times a year. When I was younger, I was a lot smaller, so my father and my mother would just take me out of my chair and plop me on the rides. I used to watch my friends play basketball in the street and it didn’t really bother me to be on the sidelines.

I didn’t feel like I was on the sidelines.

As I grew older, I started to think about the concept of playing and realized that people play all the time. They make the perfect bite of food by mixing just the right amount of meat, cheese, and potatoes; when they get a minute, they engage in a game of Angry Birds; they take a picture of their food and upload it to Facebook. In fact, I contend that Facebook and Twitter are just one big toy. Obviously, people use social media to connect with others, and marketers use it like I do—but for the most part it’s one big toy. And that’s okay. I think that everything in life has to lead to some kind of fun. Part of the reason I love speaking is because I get to make people laugh. When I’m onstage with my partner Rich, I’m playing. It’s one big playdate for me.

I love it.

I love fun.

I love my gadgets.

I love making people laugh.

As I’m writing this, I have 70s music blasting through my sound system with a remote that you don’t have to point at the tv. How cool is that? I love my toys.

So go out there and play!

Andy Grove famously said “only the paranoid survive.”

For the last couple of weeks, I have been writing about my own need to find some kind of balance in my life. This week I am going to argue against taking it easy.

I always look at the traits of successful people and one thing I notice in most of them is that they do not rest on their laurels. Sure, they take time off, they go have fun, they party. At some point or another, successful people get neurotic, want more, and nothing is enough.

There is no doubt that I get neurotic about my goals and sometimes I go too far. I get that. The fact is that I want to see so much in my lifetime and I accept that it is harder for me than most people. I don’t like it, but I accept it. With that being said, in order for me to succeed, I have to be neurotic. There are some things that are easier for me to do than most people, like writing this blog. I can have a blog post done in half an hour. Okay, enough bragging. On the other hand, there are some things that are ten times harder for me to do than most people, if not more. My morning routine is challenging. On a side note, I have trouble using the word “hard” because no matter how hard my life is, someone else always has it ten times harder.

A price of having high expectations is the certainty of getting hurt. It hurts every time I go on match.com and I don’t get email back, to the point where I have to shut off my computer at night so I don’t check my email every hour. When I was looking for a job out of college, it hurt to watch my friends settle into their new jobs. So the question is, why hurt myself?

There are parts of my life that are so beautiful. When I thought I couldn’t go to USC, I became neurotic and started obsessing about what it would be like to go there; finally I said ENOUGH. I started asking myself, “How can I go?” instead of “Why can’t I go?” I became neurotic. Furthermore, in 2004, I became neurotic over a girl and decided to go on match.com and as a result formed a year-long relationship. Those events were two of the greatest things that ever happened to me. If I accepted that life was life and things were how they were, I would not become neurotic. I agree that we all have the potential to be too neurotic and I am learning how to have better balance in my life. There are times when we need to take it easy and there are times when we have to work, and sometimes be totally neurotic.

The pursuit of success and ultimately happiness is an emotional gamble. The more you want to become successful, the higher the emotional stakes are. If you don’t want to gamble, then don’t. But I want to.

Don’t think that I am neurotic all the time. I have good times with friends and family. I ditch work every so often. In fact, last Halloween I was in Vegas and three nights in a row I called Kristi and told her that I was going to be staying an extra night. I do have good times. For me, being neurotic is just the cost of doing business. If you watch the great sports athletes, they are upset after a loss.

On Tuesday night, the Bulls were playing the Hawks and the Bulls were up significantly. The coach of the Bulls, Tom Thibodeau, did not like a call and he was arguing with the referee. He developed a habit of being neurotic or fighting for everything and it was automatic. He could easily let go and just sit there and say to himself, “We’ve got this game.” But no, he had to argue. Isn’t that better than the other way around?

I am the first one to admit that I sometimes go too far, and if you don’t believe me, just ask Kristi. After all, she’s probably the number one person who sees my neuroses every day.

I’m just a guy in a chair trying to live an extraordinary life.

Last week I put up a blog post called “Taking it Easy.” First, let me report that right after I put up the post, I sent Kristi home early, turned on the USC game, shut off my computer, and went to lunch with my mom. Admittedly, maybe watching the Lakers game was not the best way to relax, because I become more neurotic during intense games. If they actually won the game instead of losing it, I would be more relaxed.

I received a comment on my post criticizing me for missing the mark:

Guess what… you are missing something right now! Not sure what it is but you are indeed missing it; that is how life works. I thought you were a marketing major? You should understand that human desires and emotions can be shaped and formed based upon perception versus reality. How many folks buy a new car thinking it will make them happier, sexier, etc? I read your book “Love Your Life…” and the one thing that struck me about you is your craving need and active search for what you do not have. In the book and even now you always mention your search for love and you write about it in very romantic, and unrealistic terms. Part of loving your LIFE is living YOUR life; the real life you have in front of you now. I truly enjoy reading your material but what turns me off to your content, sometimes, are those moments when you talk romantically about what you do not have. By setting up these romantic ideals of what you want you are creating a situation where when you do have it IT will never live up to what you imagined. Thank you for the provocative topic I enjoy it when you challenge yourself and us readers. Now go enjoy some ESPN :).

First off, I truly appreciate this kind of comment because it helps me share my perspective with other people. There is no doubt that I am seeking a romantic life. The point of the blog post was the very fact that I need to celebrate what I have and not focus on what I don’t. I am the first person to admit that I am overly-focused on achieving every single one of my goals.

In the comment, it mentioned that I am looking for the “ideal life.” And to tell you the truth, there are parts of my fantasies that are ideal, but I understand that my life would never live up to the ideal.

When I think about a relationship with a woman, the ideal paints a picture of my hypothetical life: walking on a beach with her, cooking for her, driving if she gets tired, and many more things. I admit that I’ve daydreamed about these things, but have had to painfully give them up. With that being said, it would be incredible to have a relationship in my current state. Yes, it’s romantic, but it’s far from ideal.

In 2005, I dated my ex-girlfriend for a year, and it was one of the best years of my life. We broke up this time in 2006. I have only had a couple of dates in five years. I hear men complain, “oh, I haven’t had a date in a month!” It’s been five years. I wish that I could just let go, but I can’t. The truth is that really successful people are a bit neurotic, and that’s okay. It was the most beautiful year of my life and I want to create something similar to that or something completely different—but just as good.

I appreciate my friends, family, or—in this case—random Internet people telling me that I should stop and smell the roses because I do.

It’s an interesting dichotomy that I struggle with each and every day.

From the beginning of the year until now, I have been tough on myself—to say the least. My best friend for 25 years, Patrick, says that I work too hard. I like working. I never think I am working hard enough. I think I put more pressure on myself than anybody does on me.  I had to learn patience, and to tell you the truth, I am not a patient person. That’s not a good thing for someone who’s disabled. I always want to figure out a problem right away. To sum up, I am neurotic at times—but I guess all successful people are neurotic.

I often get mad at myself for not tweeting enough, Facebook-ing enough, not reading enough articles, not having enough fun, not looking for a girlfriend, not connecting with enough people, and I am just exhausted dictating this sentence. I need to relax!

In the last two months, I have completed a manuscript of my autobiography, moved out of my parents’ house and into my own, gone to Vegas with Patrick, and except for winter break, have not missed the weekly posting to my blog since I started. Isn’t that enough? I told you I was kind of neurotic.

I cannot tell you how many times my manager Kristi and I were talking—I would bring up something and she would come back to me and say, “Why are you worrying about that now?”

The truth is, I just want to live an extraordinary life. I’m always afraid that I’m missing something. On the other hand, am I so focused that I’m missing the journey? I don’t know.

Last Saturday was a great day. I woke up and went to go buy a washer and dryer, and then Pat and I decided to go to the beach for lunch, where we ordered a seafood sampler. We then took a stroll on the pier. At night, I had dinner with my college buddy Emanuel, who gave me crap for not working hard enough. After that, I went out with my friends Arash and Brent, who I’ve known since high school. It was an incredible day. I hung out with people who I knew and love.

There are times where we just have to relax, forget about trying, forget about all the things that we stress over, put everything on the back burner, and just have a good time.

So, after I call it a day with Kristi, I am probably going to turn on ESPN. Then later, I am going to watch the Lakers-Heat game, eat a good dinner, try not to get neurotic, and go to bed.

P.S. – I’m kind of worried that this blog post is not the usual length. So what?

P.P.S – I just got a Facebook message from a random person saying that I’m awesome. (Still not long enough?)